finding peace

there are times in life when we cannot help but connect with God….we understand all that HE is saying….we agree with what IS…. but then there are times when it seems to be a little more difficult to trust….it becomes harder to listen…whether the voice is distant or we don’t like the answer that we are getting….there is a distance between us and God.  sometimes it is intentional…….sometimes we are forced into a time of silence.  it is nothing new….God did it with the Hebrew People as they were wondering in the desert.  He did it again between the New Testament and the Old Testament.  Sometimes there has to be distance for us to be able to hear.  i have found myself in both places ……. but most recently i have found myself shutting God out.  i have turned my ears off to what God was speaking……i did not want to hear what he had to say anymore (in regards to a specific situation).   let me try to explain….. God has spoken very directly about my future.  Marriage, Ministry, a Family….all the things I have long for…all the desires of my heart…..I was in a place with Him where i felt nothing could come between us…..then he started saying WAIT…..every time i prayed about my future, all i heard was WAIT….i got really frustrated hearing WAIT…… so i stopped praying about it…..and that grew into not praying at all…..reading HIS WORD became burdensome because of what He was speaking.  It was all too much!! but God, in HIS FAITHFULNESS, was always there….speaking ever so gently into my heart….letting me know that he was in complete control!  He was holding me in HIS hands and that I was being absolutely ridiculous!!!  He was not withholding anything from me by telling me to wait……preparing my future….preparing the people involved…preparing my ministry…..preparing ME for what is to come!!!  God is not a torturing God, he is not “out to get us” no does he dangle things in front of us just out of our reach…. God is a God of love!  He wants the very best things for His children.  He desires to bless us!!  SCRIPTURE SAYS SO!!!!! i have had the opportunity to speak with several friends who are similar situations……we know where God is taking us….we have seen it very clearly…..but the present circumstances do not speak to what our future is.  We are all standing there going….UM..WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? and each of us….in our own ways…in our own time with the Lord…..in taking a deep breath and remembering what HE has spoken…have found peace!!! a gentle peace…..something that we cannot explain….. really it was there all along in me……but my flesh….(man i hate my flesh!!!) would rise up and i would try to take control.  Control is a funny thing…..everything that we think we have control over….WE DON’T!!!!!    we can’t control anything!!!    there is always something that can go wrong….another person’s will…..break down in the engine….. weather…. all kinds of things!!! sometimes we can’t even control ourselves…….(hormones are little boogers).   all we can do is take a deep breath and ask the one that is in control to take it all…..IT BELONGS TO HIM ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!

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