Why is it when God is really doing something in our lives we feel so alone?
Why is it when we are seeking truth on something we feel as if no one is there?
I have recently moved to a new house. It is an amazing blessing to be able to live on my own right now when God is working more and more in my heart.
My friends have warned me to be careful. To not become a recluse, to not block people, to not think too hard, and to make sure that I am in fellowship and seeking out people.
So where did they go?
When I am reaching out for love, support, and prayer no one is there.
Am I asking the wrong way?
Am I expecting others to read my mind?
Am I assuming that I have friends in certain people yet they consider me just a mere acquaintance?
Or am I just alone?
Am I to much for people to handle?
Am I worth someone investing in?
These are not new questions tugging at my heart.
These are the :core issues of my heart:
I have a friend who would distance herself from me and not answer the phone when I called. She became a recluse when things were too hard for her. It just always coincided when I was going through something and called too much.
Do I require too much?
Am I normal? Do other people have the same people?
My mom used to tell me that I required a lot as a child and if I had been the first child I would have been the last. That is a deep wound I wish I could change, I wish I could walk away from certain fears, anxieties, frustrations, desires, and sins and never look back, but that is not a reality. I am working through them, but there is something more that I need to see.
God is opening my heart to a deep thought, a deep message that I need to be able to hear and understand. Part of that is the need to understand desperation, loneliness, heart break, and worthlessness: four scary words that make up the core of a woman’s struggle. Really they are the struggle of every human at one point or another.
Why is God building this message in me?
Why is he opening my heart to see this truth?
Why is he building a message in me that I need to convey to others.
What ties you down & paralyzes your heart from time to time?
a humbled heart 