well..its not really a curse…more of a delima that i find myslef in from time to time
its spring…
its wedding season….
love is in the air….
but not for this girl…
i am here….
alone….
sick….(yes..i have cried to my mom agian in the last 12 hrs….)
i know there is a time coming when i will have everything my heart desires….
i will have love and someone to share my life with…..
i will have the ministry that will in effect change the world…
but for now i suffer froom what i have come to refer to as the curse……
attending wedding showers, baby showers, weddings and all of that for some of the coolest people i know….
watching them love and be loved….
watching there lives change….it is beautiful….
and i am proud of everyone of them….they deserve it!! they have waited for this…they have prayed for there days….
they have longed for this is time as i am longing now.
i find hope in that….
i find hope in waiting…..for the first time in my life i am waiting and i am understanding God’s role in mighty ways….
there are times when it is hard….
when waiting becomes a chore….the curse i am living with….
but i am praying though it….
i am taking EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE and making it obedient to CHRIST!!!
how ever long it takes….(and i know it is not about the waiting….)
i will cling to my God…
cling to my love!!! HE is my love!!!
HE is all that i need!!!
if you read this and know me….
please gently remind me of this….
of my commitment to waiting….
a humbled heart 