lately i have praying about God expanding me
taking me to new places in ministry
so that i can become more well rounded for what lies ahead
something that i have discovered about myself
i am a visionary
i am a dreamer
i have a great imagination
i can walk in a room and see what furniture needs to move in order for it to :flow better:
this is hard
i am constantly looking ahead
making changes
never taking a breath
hence the frustration i am finding myself in with God
i want to be in England
:i am preparing for that today:
i want to be married
:i am waiting for my prince:
i want to have a family
:i am learning to be a better mom by keeping others kids:
i want to be in ministry
:i have a ministry….i have influence:
i want to love people
:doing that now:
i want to listen
:again….doing that now:
i want to open my home and heart to those hurting
:working on this one…and doing it now:
i want queso
:God is feeding me cubed cheese:
its not a bad thing….
its cheese…and cheese is NEVER a bad thing
but it is not the cheese i want
so my prayer is changing
i’ll keep you posted on what i learn……
(maybe well get some Gouda, or brie next time!!
two weeks from today i will be in the air
i will take a REALLY long flight
my life will be forever changed
a month from now i will be on a flight back
with so many stories of God’s love
so much in my heart
this has been an incredible journey
i cannot wait to see what happens…….
please pray for my team….
the kids are starting to share the attacks they have been under…..
the obstacles are huge…..
but God is bigerr!!!
he will change our lives and the lives of those we come in contact with
i read a friends blog today
he got me to thinkin’ some more about a passage i have been chewin on for a few days
here’s the break down
At that time the kingdom of heaven
will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and
went out to meet the bridegroom.
Five of them were foolish and five were wise.
The foolish ones took their lamps
but did not take any oil with them.
The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.
The bridegroom was a long time in coming,
and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
At midnight the cry rang out:
‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’
Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps.
The foolish ones said to the wise,
‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’
‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you.
Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’
“But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived.
The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet.
And the door was shut.
“Later the others also came. ‘Sir! Sir!’ they said. ‘Open the door for us!’
“But he replied, ‘I tell you the truth, I don’t know you.’
“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.
matthew 25:1-11
there are several things that stick out to me in this passage
~we have a choice to be wise or foolish
~ the bridegroom comes when we are tired….exhausted…cannot wait anymore….
~ there is a point when we cannot carry others….we have to stand ready…for ourselves….
(i am not selfish….i want others to receive the good things too…i promise)
~ the right thing will come @ the right time…..so we must be ready!!!
at first i thought this only applied to a particular area of my life
but God has been showing me that this fits more then just getting married
there are several ladies in my office who are waiting
we have talked about it and prayed about it. while we are waiting in different things…at the heart there is something similar.
we are waiting
there are several things that are on my heart to do
several things that i am waiting for
ministry
job
but my place is to stand ready
this is a something that can take me through years and years of ministry and support
what are you standing for?
what are you look for to come down the road?
for so long i have had such a hard time being single
why me?
why am i not where i want to be?
what is wrong with me that i cannot find someone that will date me?
why are my friends even leaving me out?
do i smell?
do i have cooties?
but lately God has been challenging my idea of singleness
it is no longer a curse
here is the convo that i had with God
why?
:because i need you here?:
again…why?
because i said so
that is not really an answer, God I need more
silence
this conversation has happened many times
but something different is happening in my soul now
saturday night i was home alone
after a long day of feeling ignored
i was, shall i say, moping about the house
i get inspired to clean
(in my world this is dangerous…it always means I am about to learn something)
as i was unpacking boxes God began to speak to my heart
:Nicole, I love you! you are my daughter! :
i love you too
I have a plan for you!!
i know..its just not time
:I have you in a place of desperation for a reason:
God has been preparing me
my whole life has lead up to this moment
everything is pointing toward me working with people who have never known hope
God is calling me to love people!
God is showing me what it means to need love!
I LOVE THIS PLACE HE HAS ME!!!!!!!
i want something more then :this:
but what i am doing to change :this:
what is it that you want?
